Being accessible was a little harder then I had expected. What did this even mean anyway? And to further cramp my style, I felt off this whole week (May 8 to May 14). Not only was I still struggling with the whole cleansing business, I was still thrown off from my practice.
And that really bothered me. Not to mention I was already a week behind from headstand success; Graham kindly reminded me each time I’d see him how far along he’s getting. I’m screwed.
As you are all probably well aware, challenge or no challenge, yoga is my go to for everything and never once has it let me down. Mind you, I’ve had my fair share of difficult classes (which I’m sure Erin and JK will come to discover once or twice during their 30 day challenge), but for the most part it is my escape. Whether I’m bored, tired, energized, cramped, stiff, just want to see people I know, whatever the case maybe yoga is always there. So when it came time for me to be accessible I figured I’d be accessible to yoga and practice (almost) every day for this week (plus I didn’t practice all week during Be Healthy week and that was the recommended super challenge). I really need the head stand practice!
But one problem: I could not for the life of me shake this cleanse. So instead I decided to really dig deep into my accessibility. The main focus for the week was practicing active listening – then each night we were to reflect on our day by writing in a journal. I did not write in a journal, instead I wrote posts. Wow, I was really terrible this week. No way did I deserve any stickers on my LYM chart.
I tried active listening at work, while I was out doing whatever I was that week, and more importantly I stuck to the cleanse. I suppose I was being accessible to myself and did not give up. I really wanted to stick this thing through to the end. With only one small slip up (I had some wine with Erin before going to Bring It On the Musical), but in a weird way I think I needed it. The whole heavy metals news freaked me out a bit.
After day 8, the end was in sight and I could feel the finish drawing nearer. I wanted this to end! But now that I’ve stopped to rethink about the 10 days, I miss it. This surprised me too! Friday evening I went off the cleanse entirely. Shannon my old roommate was in town, I had to celebrate, but I was not happy with myself come Saturday. After eating too much not appropriate cleanse foods, I felt gross, angry, and was really upset with myself. I worked too hard to blow this whole thing off. So after that weekend I decided to not let people influence my choices for a better me. Whether it’s food, socializing, anything I’m going to stay true to what’s best for me. Yes I will cave, but when and where it’s approprate I will be okay with that (wine with Erin – totally okay!). I just went too far too quickly having Shannon around and I’m still not happy with myself for that, which then turned into a whole weekend of guilt feeling icky-ness.
Listening to me, my body, being okay with not practicing yoga everyday, and taking the cleanse beyond the 10 days is how I was accessible. After feeling really crumbly for my choices on Friday, this article from LYM helped – How To Stop Beating Yourself Up Over Mistakes. I am terrible for this!