So the first 3.5 months of 2017 have been a roller coaster, training wise. I do not feel as if I am in race shape and my ambitious time goals for the first half of the year feel out of reach.

I’m trying to shift my perspective.

Instead of seeing this as a failure, I’m shifting to a big single goal for 2017: a sub 3:45 marathon at the Toronto Waterfront Marathon on October 22, 2017. We’ll be six months out from this in a few weeks. So now, instead of getting faster and viewing Mississauga as my goal race, I’m seeing this time as a base-building opportunity so I can hit the ground running in June when my 16-week marathon training program starts.

This feels a bit like a failure. But I’m trying to see it as a learning opportunity.

I can’t commit to a difficult work season and a difficult training season and hope the weather is on my side.

I can’t burn myself out in the first six months of the year.

I’ve made a lot of progress in my running, but I need to set achievable goals with do-able action plans.

I need to prioritize my training over other leisure activities and other fitness. I once had a basketball coach that said my priorities should be “Family. School. Basketball. Everything else.” Today, it should be “Family. Work. Running. Everything else.” if I want to achieve my goals. And if those priorities don’t work for me, well then I should change my goals.

Right now, I’m thinking about what my life would look like if I truly prioritized things that way. I think I’m into it, but it seems like a lot.

But is that fear of failure talking?