Me, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time

All right. It’s time to just say it.

2017 has sucked.

It sucked for the world. Hurricanes. Earthquakes. Fires. Politics.

But it has also sucked for me personally, even though there isn’t any particular thing I can hang that on. No one died. I didn’t have any dehabilitating personal or professional setbacks. But I felt lost, stressed, restless. I didn’t find balance or harmony in anything. I constantly felt like I was outrunning something or trying to catch up to something. And that sucks.

I’ve been injured since Labour Day so I haven’t been running much either. Which sucks. But it’s proven a bunch of things to me.

First, I need a hobby that isn’t fitness or reading. Something outside myself and my need to set goals and develop. Something I do just for goddamn fun.

Second, running is essential to my wellbeing. Last fall, I was my as close to my best self as I think I’ve been in years. Why? I was running a lot. Work was going well. I had a solid schedule that was challenging and fulfilling. And I’ve been struggling to get back to that this year. All year.

And now I can’t run.

There’s not much I can do about it. Rest. Rehab. Find meaningful things to do other than running.

And plan for the future.

The rest of the year is going to be about building a base. A base of mental health I can draw resilience and mindfulness from. A base of physical health I can lean back on to start marathon training in January. Because right now I am floundering. I have nothing to stand on. Nothing to lean on for support. I am going to fall and I am going to drown and I don’t want that to happen. I want to stand tall, be strong, crush my goals.

2017 has sucked. But it’s not over. We can turn this around.