Tuesday was a rest day. I only did my foot PT exercises. Yet by the end of the day, my hip flexor HURT.

Was it how I sat? The shoes I wore? How I bike? I have no idea.

It’s now Wednesday morning and it still hurts.

This is the downside of injury. Pre-injury, I would have just shook it off. Now, I’m worried it’s something more, a step back, a sign I’ll need to take weeks and weeks of running again. And it leaves me unsure about what to do today. Do I do my scheduled run? Scheduled gym session? It’s impossible to know what makes things better, what won’t matter and what makes things worse.

I’m about to run. 5k easy + strides. I guess we’ll see.

It’s Tuesday morning. Apologies Taylor Swift.

I thought about going to yoga this morning, but didn’t. I was wiped from my gym session last night and yoga was not on the schedule today, and I’m trying to respect my coach’s plan and follow it. I definitely move stuff around way too much, but life. I also usually do more than she tells me to do, which is a bad habit and is going to lead to burn out.

My hip’s feeling all right these days. Like 90%? After months and months of it being broken, I’ll take it.

I have a list of 10 things I try to accomplish every day:

• PT exercises: foot
• PT exercises: hip
• Wake up before 7
• Spend $0
• Eat vegan
• Meditate
• Read
• Don’t drink any alcohol
• Take my vitamins
• Do core work

I feel that if I accomplish them all, I will have a good day.

I have never accomplished all of them on the same day.

Yesterday, though, I only missed two (spending $0 and reading). Reading is one I usually get every day. So if I keep this monastic life up, maybe I’ll hit all of them one day soon.

It’s May. May 7. The first week of this month kicked my ass, but for no real reason. I just had a lot going on and, as a result, struggled with food (ate poorly), drinking (drank too much) and getting in all my fitness (got all my cardio sessions in, but missed a yoga session and a couple strength sessions.) Now I’m beating myself up over it.

I shouldn’t do that, though. I should instead be focusing on the opportunities this provides. I have time this week to focus on planning and prepping food. I don’t have any events this week that I feel I’ll need alcohol to enjoy/get through (which is another issue entirely, but let’s park that for another day.) Work should be a-OK this week, so I can focus on food, fitness and rest.

So let’s do that, eh?

I also want to write more. I say that every time I pop in here to write a blog post. But I struggle with putting my life on the internet. Does it compromise my work? My relationships? My mental health? I go back and forth on all these quite a bit. And it always comes down to this: I have no idea. But I do know I need to a creative outlet. We all do.

So let’s see if I can put aside my anxieties and actually put things on the internet again.