After a rocky return from Alberta, I’m in a groove.

Gym on Mondays.

Track on Tuesdays.

Run on Wednesdays.

Bootcamp on Thursdays.

Rest on Fridays.

Long run on Saturdays.

Cross-training on Sundays.

There’s a few other gym sessions in there and a few more runs, but those are my anchors.

Sometimes my runs are easy, sometimes they are hard. but for the most part, I’m hitting my paces. I’m not missing any workouts. It’s coming together. It always feels like I could be doing more, going harder, running faster, but it’s a long process. And I need to trust the process.

“Oh my god, I need to sit down.”

We were on the subway wafter the New York City marathon. I was wrapped in my marathon poncho and was nearly crying tears of gratitude when there was an empty subway seat next to a girl wearing a marathon medal.

She slid over to make room for my as I collapsed.

“Thank you.”

“How’d you do?”

“I’m happy. What a race, eh?”

“Yeah! Um… would you mind if he took a picture of me? I didn’t get a good one with my medal.”

“Of course!”

My boyfriend was on the subway, standing next to us. He took her picture. We chatted about the route and the weather and marathon training until it was our stop.

“Congratulations!” I called as a limped out of the car.

Once we were outside, my boyfriend turned to me.

“How did you know her?”

I didn’t. I had never seen her before in my life. I’ll never see her again, and if I do, I’m not going to remember she was the girl who made room for me on the subway after my race.

But that doesn’t matter. Because we are in the same squad.

We run. And that’s enough.

This secret squad, of strangers connected over putting one foot in front of the other for hours on end, has been the biggest surprise and the best source of strength, since becoming a runner.

The random high five from a woman on a hot, sticky run in New Orleans.

The wave from a ace runner in the Don Valley when it freakishly hailed, but there was no way in hell we were cutting our long runs short.

The guy who, at 6:30am on a Sunday morning in downtown Manhattan, saw my running gear and wished me luck, as I headed to the subway on NYC marathon morning.

The nod from two elite runners – clearly in town for the PanAm games – who were out on a casual morning jog while I ran track repeats in Riverdale Park.

The volunteer who ran alongside me up the last major hill at 36k of the Halifax marathon, when I was pretty sure I was dying and questioning why I ever thought a marathon was a thing worth doing.

The runners who bought us a round in a random bar after the Chicago marathon because it was Canadian thanksgiving and they were shocked – and pleased – we’d run their hometown marathon instead of eating turkey in Canada.

This is my squad.

I didn’t start running for the social reasons. And even now, I mostly run alone. But those moments of connection – so random, from so many different kinds of people – are what make running bigger than a way to get fit. It turns strangers, even for an instant, into friends. Fellow runners.

There’s nothing like it. And they show up when you need them most. When you’re exhausted or nervous or completely dead or questioning why you ever started running in the first place or elated and want to share the moment with someone.

That’s what a squad is for.

 

It’s been a long winter. Here’s what I’ve been up to, fitness-wise, since my last post.

1. I sprained my ankle – badly

This has been the biggest factor in my fitness (or lack of it) since FEBRUARY. I rolled my ankle during a 3-on-3 basketball tournament. It’s May and it’s still sore. This means I haven’t been working out as much as I would like (I basically did nothing other than basketball in February and March), but it’s stable now. April was about getting back into a groove. May is about amping up – because I’m running the Chicago marathon!

2. I got into the Chicago Marathon

It feels like every Canadian who signed up got in! I decided I’d only do a marathon in 2016 if it was a big city marathon – NYC again or Chicago. Not surprisingly, I didn’t get into NYC, but here I come Chicago! Jill got in too. October 11. I’m going to start a 16-week training program in June. I still haven’t settled on how to approach this training cycle because I want to: 1) run 4 times a week; 2) leave space on the weekend for summer adventures, long runs AND recover; 3) play softball and basketball; 4) fit in more cross-training this time around and 4) have at least one rest day. I can schedule this out on my own, but want someone/something to keep me accountable. I’ve toyed with paying for a Runner’s World program through Training Peaks – has anyone tried that before?

3. I ran the Blue Nose Half Marathon

A few weeks ago, I made a spur of the moment decision to head to Halifax for the long weekend and run the half. My mom was doing the 5k and Jill was doing the half. I was really nervous about this race – I’ve only run 15k once this year – but it worked out fine. Jill and I ran together, with the goal of running under 2:10. This felt strong and not hard until the 19km mark, which is better than I expected. We finished in 2:09:33. It was so much fun to have the race be a family affair and to revisit the place of my first full marathon.

4. I ran a trail race

Photo: @ayoungvoice

I did the 5peaks Trail Series April race and it was a lot of run. I am a bit confused about trail running. I don’t know how people can appreciate being in nature when you’re spending the time focusing on roots and rocks and not falling on your face, but I guess that comes with practice. I’m going to do a few more and see if I can get a handle on this. It was fun doing something different.

5. I’m still playing basketball – and softball season has started

I am convinced basketball is the reason why the Blue Nose went well. I’m essentially doing speedwork for 50 minutes, twice a week. I signed up for two teams in the spring. It’s been a bit much, scheduling wise, but it’s been good have two set workouts a week no matter what happens. Softball season started last week too. I bought batting gloves. I’m getting hardcore.

6. I signed up for a two-week ClassPass trial.

Have you heard of ClassPass? $89 a month gives you access to hundreds of studios in Toronto – and you can go to up to three classes per studio a month. I am iffy on the prices point against the amount of times I would use it, but I am open to seeing if it fits. I have a two-week free trial. I’ve been to one class so far (a mediocre vinyasa restorative class) and have signed up for 4 more. With my gym membership expired, it could be a better option for cross-training than my yoga + swimming + Nike Training Club combo I did for NYC marathon training. So far, the interface and class options are fantastic. But I think I’d need to go to 2-3 classes a week to make the price point worth it. (Plus it would give me content for this blog, right? The blog I never update?)

I think that’s it. I have so much fitness coming up in the next few weeks.

After running the New York Marathon, I wanted something to commemorate it. I had my bib and my medal and my running shirt and I bought a finisher’s shirt, but I got caught up in the idea of having a poster or print or something to hang. So I bought this:

It’s by New Jersey artist Ricardo Roig, and it cost way more money than I ever intended on spending on running art. But it makes me happy and Ricardo was so delightful to purchase from that it made it worth it.

So as soon as I said good-bye, I started to regret it. I still think this blog needs a re-vamp and re-focus, but I see value in having a outlet for my fitness inspirations and frustrations. The boyfriend can’t absorb it all.

Especially since this season, for the first time since spring of 2013, I’m running without a coach. It wasn’t planned. Her life got busy, my goals weren’t clear and suddenly I was 12 weeks away from a race I signed up for without a plan. So I made a plan.

It’s based on what I’ve learned from 2 years with a coach, and what I’ve learned about myself since I started running. The basic structure is as follows:

Monday – basketball + strength
Tuesday – tempo run
Wednesday – easy run
Thursday – speed work + strength
Friday – cross-train
Saturday – optional run and/or yoga
Sunday – long run

In a real world. I’ll end up dropping one strength session and either the Wednesday or Saturday runs, which still leaves me with a solid base for training.

I’m nervous. I’m nervous about motivation, about results, about dedication, about everything. I like accountability. I’d recommend getting a coach to anyone who is serious about running. But I’ve been in a funk for almost three months now and I need to get out of it. I’m hoping this training cycle will allow me to do that, and will let me learn new things about myself along the way.

 

 

 

On November 2, I ran the New York City Marathon. It was overwhelming and celebratory and exceeded every expectation I could have ever placed on a race. Everyone should run this race, to experience 4 hours of a city coming together, of thousands of people accomplishing a goal, of seeing an iconic place in such an unusual and glorious way, of getting cheered on and high fived by complete strangers over and over and over and over. It was a perfect, magical day and it’ll hold a special place in my heart for a long, long time.

I haven’t written about it, though, for two reasons. The first is that the week before the NYC marathon, something happened in my life that was emotionally and physically exhausting. In the week before the race, instead of resting and focusing, I was drinking and crying and having night terrors. It completely re-framed my goals for that day and will forever be tied to that experience. I wasn’t sure how to write about the race and not write about that, so I just chose not to write. It’s been three months and I still don’t know how to write about the race without writing about that. I don’t know if I ever will.

The second reason is that I am not entirely sure about this blog anymore: what purpose it serves, what I get from it, if I have it in me to make it a great, important, positive thing again. I’m not sure. Jill’s not in Toronto anymore. (I hope she comes back, but more importantly, I hope she’s happy, wherever she ends up.) Neither of us are blogging much. I have other creative outlets I’ve developed since this blog started three years ago. I’ve been spending time (too much time) thinking about it and I still don’t know the answer.

I may be back. I may not. But I am at peace with not knowing. Because here is what I do know:

1. If you think for even a second that maybe running a marathon might be a thing you want to do, do it. I’ve learned more about myself and what I need to be healthy and happy since running insane distances.

2. I need to run insane distances. I will never be a happy, peppy runner who wakes up at 5am and bounds out of bed to the track, but I thrive on having goals, and having a fitness outlet other people think is insane. Perhaps it’s the braggart in me, perhaps it’s the overachiever. But since the NYC marathon, I haven’t really run and I’ve been and directionless and felt terrible and also felt not very happy. Running – no, training – calibrates me. A small part of me hates that I’ve learned this about myself, but a bigger part is relieved I can latch on to something to get me through trying times – and to keep me from getting fat.

3. Wear a singlet with your name or country on it when you run big races – you will feel like a rock star. I wore a Canada singlet and every Canadian I came across went crazy.

4. I don’t need people to run with to run, but I need people to run with to run fast.

5. Fitness for fun is a good, important thing to have in my life. I ignored that for too long.

6. Races are more fun when they are shared experiences.

7. When everything is crumbling around me, I can run. Even if it doesn’t make it better, it makes me feel better. Or at least makes me breathe better. And, hey, running is better than drinking when it all goes to hell.

8. NYC is magical. Everything about that day – from being wished good luck by a guy walking his dog at 6:30am in Lower Manhattan as I headed to the subway, to freezing on the Staten Island Ferry, to Central Park being so loud I couldn’t hear the music in my headphones – was completely surreal. If you ever get a chance to run NYC, do it. You won’t regret it.

 

 

 

I’ve been working a lot and running a lot and things seem under control these days. Busy, but the end is near. One more long run and I get to taper!

I fell on my leg in basketball and the bruising is ridiculous. This was what I was most afraid of when I signed up for bball – that I would get injured and it would ruin my marathon. Fortunately, it’s just along the outside of my leg and doesn’t affect any joints. I’ve run three since it happened and, while it feels weird, the running isn’t making it worse. I just have to tough it out.

I’m organizing one of the official cheer stations for the Toronto Waterfront Marathon. Please come out – we have a DJ and a band and coffee and free fitness. The details are here. Jill is running on behalf of our charity partner, 40 Oaks – support her here!

My long run last week was great. 30k, a consistent, strong run. I thought I had marathon training cased after that.

My long run this week was a different story. I did it at the boyfriend’s cottage and that meant hills, hills, hills. At least it was on fall country roads on a perfect weather day. My Garmin also died halfway through, so I had to guess my effort and my walking breaks during the second half of the run.

(It was an out and back so just double this data.)

I bought new compression socks. I needed new compression socks – my old ones have worn thin and one had a hole in it. They are bright pink and awesome. My quads are so dead, though, – is it weird to really want full-on compression tights?

I bought a Canada race top from the running room. I thought it would be fun to wear a Canada top and see if I get any special crowd reactions when running NYC, haha. At the Blue Nose in 2013, my name was GIANT on my bib and my number was teeny. That really helped the spectators – I have never heard my name so many times in a race.