Balance In Bali yoga retreaters (I have to thank Mandy again for the picture)!

For those wondering ”what on earth is a sangha?” and how do you support such a thing, remember back during my two attempts at Living My Moksha, or as it’s now called, Grow Your Yoga, sangha means community. The network of supporters around you, the groups you associate with, or better yet forcefully submersed yourself into and wouldn’t go away… Whatever the case maybe (or how you came to be apart of your network of people) in someway, shape, or form you yourself give back to these groups. As a member of a club or society or gang, you’re a piece of that puzzle.

Communities can fulfill us, empower us, give us peace (and sometimes stress us the hell out), but, for the most part, they keep us busy and happy. Supporting our sangha(s) in return seems only fair. This summer I had many sanghas I was apart of. I know what you’re thinking the summer and all the things that happened, including the running and the marathon, are all this girl ever talks about! And yes, I completely agree. But you know what they say, write to what you know. Apparently yoga, running, and work are the only things I know. That really isn’t all that surprising.

When it came time to figure out what I was going to do for this project, it really got me thinking. With all that happened I still had a pretty grand summer. I was pretty happy and I had amazing people all around me, my friends, my sisters, mentors, people I genuinely loved – so why wasn’t I fixated on the good stuff? I was living and breathing, biking everywhere I wanted to go, I provided myself with all that I needed to survive, such as good food and good company. It took me all this time to realize – that and leaving home and all these people behind – how lucky I was. It seems so silly now the way I acted. If only in the moments when we’re experiencing true happiness could we just appreciate it and not think of anything else. Because that would be too easy.

Thinking about my sanghas made me realize sometimes life is hard. And when life does get you down it’s okay to need support. It doesn’t make us weak or needy, it means we’re human with feelings and emotions. At some point or another we all need a little help getting back on track. I used this project as a way to thank all those people in my life who helped me out this summer, whether they knew they did or not. You all know who you are! But if you don’t, trust me you will 🙂

A sangha is a powerful thing. I am grateful to have more than one.

So what communities are you apart of? How would you give support to your sangha? Think about it, maybe give it a try. Because acts of kindness are so underrated.

Live Green, now this was the project for me. This project, and in particular this Moksha pillar, holds a lot of truth and a sense of realness to me. I love Moksha for believing in sustainability and caring for the environment – when something prides itself on how they are trying to make the world a better place, that’s something I can get behind! For this reason, and many more, differentiates Moksha as a yoga practice.

When it came time for me to Live Green I may have been a tad bit more excited to start this project then the others (thus far), but not to say the others won’t be great. Oddly enough the series of events in my past have lined up quite nicely with the order of my Distance Learning Projects which I have to say have made writing and blogging very complementary. But for this project, this one I knew I had in me.

You may recall me taking on elements of the Thrive Diet for my Be Healthy project. I derived the perfect plan, but if I was to hit two birds with one stone – linking healthy training with overall healthy living – I would need to think outside the box. I wanted to be healthy, yes, but more importantly how? That’s where the Living Green component came in. And so the focus of eating good quality foods in the greenest possible way would be the focus of my Living Green project. I made sure to buy the right foods, all the right ingredients for my shakes, smoothies, salads, and soups, I was ready to commit to making good food and reconnect with everything I ate in a way I haven’t in a very long time. And so I went to the local My Market farmers market (conveniently located right beside my apartment) each Wednesday and stocked up on my weeks supply of fruit and veggies. I’d bike (an excellent mode of green commuting on my part!) to Kensington Market for all the other ingredients I would require such a as cacao nibs, hemp protein, chia seeds, all the good things! And! I’d bring my own bags everywhere I went (zero plastic was coming home with me!). Not only did I implement green into everything I was doing I was also saving a lot of money by doing it. Buying things in bulk saves you a pretty penny and it cuts down on waste, and the clutter in your cupboards, big time. With all the pennies I was saving I would treat myself to dinner and a night shopping at Whole Foods every once in a while. Yes, this alone was motivation enough for me to stick with the plan. And so, this lead to many grand discoveries. One being the versatility of the Mason jar. Glass is better than plastic for storing and these babies are super multi functional. I apologize for those who already knew the wonder of Mason jars, I’m slowly catching up. But trust me, I will never own another cup or Ziploc container ever again. That’s a promise.

Buying local straight from the source, among the other things I mentioned above, cuts down our overall environmental impact. I would then brag to all my friends and family what I was doing in hopes they too would do the same – support and buy local. It got to the point where I knew one farmer in particular (he was from Picton where my marathon took place) by name and he knew mine. He’d ask how my training was going each week and how far I’d run that day, or if I was coming or going. It made my week. I had something to count on, and something I felt super good about.

Taking my health and training and greenness very seriously made for a very busy summer, but it is something I plan to commit to long term. Hopefully my efforts may inspire you to do the same! Or perhaps take on a Live Green project f your own. The possibilities are endless and I have many more ideas I’d be happy to share.

A nice reminder why I love Moksha. I can Be Accessible. I really can!

This summer has been the summer of challenges, change, and trying to find compassion with myself as the craziness life continued to unfold all around me. I know, you’re probably thinking… “Projects? More teacher training business? I thought this was long over?”… Long over due more like it.

While I finally rallied up the nerve here in Tokyo – yes a lot of time has passed this is true – to actually finish this project, I realized I have not been open to accessibility at all. And having been confronted about what’s really been bothering me, I felt like a terrible person. How can someone be traveling the world and be grumpy all the time?! I’m in a funk right now and I don’t like it. A fitness funk, a life funk, and a down right “why am I not happy and stop being uptight” funk. Thank goodness Cecilley put me in my place. Someone needed to. I would have punched me if I was her and I would have totally understood why. Yes, it was that bad.

So back to Being Accessible. This project was perfectly timed then, but possibly even more so now, and made for an excellent theme to my life. Learning to be accessible to change was the focus of this project. And it could not have been more spot on.

Way back when this project was first underway accessibility was me letting out of my job and what happened. I needed to find closure with this in a way that would give me a peace of mind. For my last day I always envisioned doing a grand gesture of some sort like baking cookies or writing little notes to everyone, but something had to be done in order for me to move past this. I believe it was Cecilley who suggested the idea of teaching a yoga class for my former colleagues. It would be completely unique, real, and a very authentic gesture of gratitude from me. What an excellent plan! But, regrettably, this did not happen. Why you ask. Because I chickened out. I pushed and pushed this project aside, avoiding the thought of planning the whole thing, and distracting myself with anything else. I think I was scared or truth be told I didn’t really what to do it. Being accessible at this sensitive time in my life was a lesson for me to be accessible to my heart and my true feelings. I don’t have to do things other people expect me to do or do things people want me to do. Or even doing things just because. Yes there is a time and a place when you do need to step out of your shell and maybe go out that one time when you really don’t want to, but you shouldn’t feel forced into anything. Life is too short to not enjoy one minute of it.

It took me a very long time to listen to what that actually meant. Back in August I was also in the very early planning phases of my year of travel and this was more important than anything else at the time. I was uprooting my life and leaving town. I needed out. I needed change and travel and a sense of connection to something more than the life I created in Toronto. I have a lot of things to figure out with myself before I can give back. My heart was in a heavy place, I needed to be true to it and not brush it aside anymore for the sake of others. But I also didn’t mind brushing it aside with distraction and activities. But now accessibility is coming back to haunt me as I travel. When certain things don’t go according to plan, or when I think Cecilley is upset with me because of something I said or a decision I made, I have to be aware of the “why” and let it go. I hate being a person on edge and rigid and I’ve been such a stick in the mud for way too long. I’m surprised Cecilley doesn’t hate me – or maybe she does? Man karma, it really can be a bitch.

In time I will reconnect with all of my colleagues, my mentors, and friends. And when I do I will be ready and in a much better place. But for right now I’m going to stop letting the stupid little things bother me that I can’t do anything about, other then figure it out and move on, I’m going to tackle the bigger issues in my life causing me stress – these are going to take a lot more work but I need to start somewhere – and I need to be a better friend and travel companion to Cecilley. I owe her so much, it’s the least I could do given she is all I’ve got!

Although the project didn’t go entirely as planned, I did find accessibility, in a much broader sense and in a much truer sense. Now it’s time to enjoy it. There’s a whole world to see and I’m not going to get in the way of myself anymore!

I am not a person who sits well with my emotions. I mean really sit and reflect why I’m feeling the way I am. And for what reason? I know it may sound completely bizarre because I’m an insanely emotional person who wears my heart on my sleeve, and perhaps is a little too sensitive to, well, pretty much everything. But as I’m slowly learning through unfortunate situations with friends, stuff at work, and with life in general, having an open heart is not a weakness nor is it a bad thing. We all have our strengthens and weaknesses, reflecting on why our so called weaknesses are just that, weaknesses, is important to do from time to time. It’s good to check in with yourself. Because as we age and mature – or not – these strengths and weaknesses of ours can change yearly, monthly, or even daily.

Like most people I imagine, I tend to hide away when I’m feeling sad or throw and punch things, in the privacy of my own apartment of course, when I’m angry. Or I anger clean my house. Which is kind of efficient really. I don’t like showing my sadness or anger, rather I try and cope with it. This is not the best solution because coping is not a way of solving the real issue, it’s more of a deterrent from the root problem. As you can imagine a lot of this mentality came up in training. Emotions would run high and low and all around because a lot of training – in the most subtle way hidden under all the practicing and lectures – was connecting with yourself.

After a month of practice teaching and receiving feedback for my classes project number one was complete! Project two, the Wheel of Life as they call it, was designed for us to open up to the experience and emotions teaching brought up, but even more so, we were to reflect with what was going on in our lives leading up to training. Boy, this is getting deep.

I won’t bore you with the details of what I wrote, but as I was writing I found more and more stuff come up. Like why I was so driven with my career and less interested in romance. And why I would beat up myself for not being a good friend, and what I need to work on in certain family relationships. It was kind of weird. But therapeutic.

Our wheel of life was divided into eight categorizes: Business/Career, Finances, Health, Family and Friends, Romance, Personal Growth, Fun And Recreation, and Physical Environment. For each category we had to grade ourselves and explain why. Like I said it was weird, but therapeutic. Then we had to create another wheel, but this time we had to show where we wanted each category to be. This was even weirder. And more importantly how are you going to go about bringing these changes into your life to improve your grade. Not so easy now, is it? Again I won’t bore you with any grueling details of my wheel, but if you’re interested (or just curious) I’d be happy to share!

What would your Wheel of Life look like? What parts of your life could you improve or work on? Give it a try and journal it. You may just surprise yourself with the kind of circle you create.